Building Character

There are many sayings which warn us about the unfair treatment that life throws on us sometimes. People often say “Life’s a Bitch!” I heard in a movie someone say that “Life’s a bitch and then you die”. In another occasion some one said “Life is unfair, so get used to it” I have lived with the second one for a long time and it has, perhaps, manifested itself into some sort of principle for me. It is probably because of my understanding that in life we are born different. There are so many things that make us different. Sometimes this difference is pronounced in some of the things that other people have and we don’t in our physical designs. I suppose life is unfair like that, and we have to get used to it.

When we decide to get used to some of the unfairness of life it is then that we realise how unfair because it is then we have to deal with certain personal expectations and those of our peers. It is during this stage of life, when we have to impress, that we realise that we are different, that there are things that we cannot do as well as others or cannot do at all. When we realise that there is this kind of flaw in our physical design, or in our lives we become frustrated, hateful and spend a great deal of time being resentful. It is unfortunate that during this time people around you may choose to be understanding or sympathize with you or patronize you, mock you, or ridicule you or even reject you.  

However, there is an option we can choose other than being miserable about our imperfection. Firstly we need to get out of the denial zone and accept that we are different so that we can move into the zone of action. When in the zone of action we find out what is it that we can do to change our situation. At this stage it is important to identify that what you can change and that what you cannot change. If you can change something change it, of you can’t leave it.

People who have everything going well for them and believe that they are perfect and are God’s gift to other people tend to be arrogant and lack the respect and compassion for other people and life in general. However, people who identify and acknowledge flaws about themselves tend to work hard on building their character, earning the respect that they deserve and respecting others and life in general. It is this flaw that becomes one’s milestone in life while it brings one an opportunity to be closer and have a relationship with God and also understand perfectly who they are. People like that are able to live in tranquility and often easily find peace with themselves.  It is this flaw that becomes a drive for one to work hard and find creative ways to succeed in life while others spend valuable time mocking and ridiculing others’ flaws for the amusement of their mundane life and that of their peers.

Therefore sometimes it is good to be flawed because if you had it all and thought you were perfect you would not be able to respect other people, you would not work hard in your life to succeed and accentuate your good characteristics and you would probably not understand who you are and therefore will never have good character. It is expected that you would do certain mistakes which will hurt you, other people and those who are closer to you. However, making mistakes can be part of a learning curve sometimes. It is these mistakes that allow you to reflect on life and work towards not doing the same mistakes in the future. Eleanor Roosevelt said that “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built”